is in the mood to show off.... hahaa cmon, i mean it's not a sin rightttt i was bored and have this suden idea to arrange all (not all but mostly) my collection of drawingand design books there are: -babyboss : awesome design book -concept : design book, mostly for those who is already mastered (believe me i dont have a single idea what are they talking about) -some tutorial book like :photoshop for beginner, animation using flash, 3ds max, pop art, corel drawing, web design, indesign book, web hosting, etc -artbook collecion: arina tanemura shinshi doumei cross -artbook colection: kagari, celestial. -artbook collection: muted color, by kidchan aka beatrice tan -full color comic: orange by benjamin -full color poetic comic: tanpopo by camilla d'erico -advance photoshop -imagine fx -meet great characters - lastly, the most expensive book i ever bought: painter by ballistic publishing (75 usd EEK!!!!)my personal drawign collection, oh wait, one more sketchbook still with my lecturer..whaaatttt total so far i have -5 sketchbook -2 potrfolio (the other with lecturer also) -3 comic script(complete from rough draft, draft, and inked (is doing the final step now))
my riffle and my shotguns lol usually i dont really care about brand and stuffs, i just buy what i think nice and i use them, but not until im doing my manga and realise that some of them were trash! my favorite now is unipin 0.1 (i really hope can find 0.05) and micron 0.05, they are just perfect! wont blotted, steady, and the nib is not easily broken (not micron, my micron's nib broken in just 2 days) faber castle is quite nice, i havent really tried my rotring, and canot really say anything about artline...my favorite for doing illuctration are 1.uniball white color (must have! to erase all wrong lines) 2.unipin / micron 0.1 and 0.05 3.boxy eraser (this is the best eraser i ever used) 4. techniclick pencil (same! best pencil i ever used)
average price for one pencil or pen is 5 rm, rotring +- 80 rm, boxy eraser 6 rm, so in total...ew...i've spent almost 250 rm for pens...wtf im still aiming dor copic markers and wacom intuos...hope can get them next year...my genius tablet suffered ad...i pity him...(my beloved genny wahaha)
is in stressed state for more than 2 moonth and this one week, the stressed is in the maximum level....i can't believe when i saw the floor plan from CF crew...our booth "veleries" is so big 12x10 feet and there are only 6 island in the convention, i wrote this in my deviantart journal:
just now i received an email from comic fiesta crew about the artist booth plan, and i know it was a mistake to reserved a huge island despite the fact that i'm selling my own stuff, without anybody sharing....and when i saw the real map i was like OMGHOLLYCOWSTUPIDIDIOTSH********)(*&*(&(*&*(***&*^&^*&%^&$%^$%$#%$@$# IT'S SO BIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG, my booth is insanely huge and to make it worse, it's in the middle of the hall surrounded by others artist booths,and to make it even more worse....it's right beside yamgene booth (kidchan's) holly cra* what did i eat yesterday... i'm really..really don't have any idea to fill the booth, since i cancel my doujin (due to some reason, my doujin cannot make it for cf and i was crying when i know it^%^&$%^$%^$%^$^!!!! grh) so what left to me to sell is prints, and badges,a dn prints and badges,and im dead...like..serriously dead.. i know this sounds crazy but if anyone still interested and crazy enough to join the cf and share with me in one week, that means you save my life!!!!! so anyone here who's going to cf, please don't be surprise when you see a corpse lying in the corner of veleries booth, it's deffinitely gonna be me... this sure makes me sounds pathetic..i really want to cry... T_T brb explode my self in mt.doom
sure sounds pathethic..me and vivi are like having nighmare..we really scared that our booth gonna be so empty and like i said, our neighboor is one of the famous artist in the so called comunity, and it's really embarassing!! good things is the co founder of the famous imaginary friends studio, stanley lau will come ang give seminar, other than that..hell...if i could turn back time, i wil change the island into booth, shitttttt so in this one week, everything are so hectic, vivi was helping me alot to find people who willing to save us, and yeah, we found one guy, willing to join us and hes gonna sell his hand made figurine (wow), and i dont think my friend who wants to send her goodies can make it in time...so...i culdnt even think straight right now...im really depressed, this is the first convention and yet so hectic...
buuutttt i've done my mugs!! there are 5 different design (im gonna take them all from the shop tommorow along with my badges design) aint it cute? hahahaahha thanks for that i dont have asnymore money now..T_T i've spent 850rm for mugs and button, and need to spend another few hundreds for prints...(just why the printing service in malaysia are fuc*ing expensive!!)
but nvm...i can seel the leftover in another convention..(targeting to go to singapore)
ive done new prints in deviantart, and hell yes, it has quite good response, like...more than 200 people faving it in just 2 days..wow!! im so happy hahaha and recently gotten my secind daily deviation awards in deviant art...believe me people..you cannot imagine how happy i was..i mean like serriously, i have only 38 deviation and has been absent for one year, yet i got another awards???? im bouncing to die.. gonna post the others latter
so....i just hope everything will go well....like..i really have no spirit now..and has been lacking from drawing....this past 2 months was so chaotic..i've done my best, i sacrificed my bed time, i sacrificed my pleasure to go out, and have fun like other people who enjoying their holidays...but im here..in my room, 21/24 hour facing computer....i dont even know whay am i doing this anymore....
Biasanya anak-anak yang jauh dari orang tuanya merasa kangen sekali dengan Mamanya.
Lalu bagaimana dengan Papa?
Mungkin Mama lebih sering menanyakan keadaan anaknya setiap hari. Tapi taukah kamu jika Papamu yang mengingatkannya untuk menelfonmu?
Mungkin Mama yang lebih sering mengajakmu bercerita, Tapi taukah kamu sepulangnya ia bekerja, dengan wajah lelah, ia selalu menanyakan kabarmu dari Mamamu?
Waktu kecil...
Papa mengajari putri kecilnya bermain sepeda. Setelah dia mengganggap kamu bisa, ia melepaskan roda bantu di sepedamu. Saat itu Mama menutup mata karena takut anaknya terjatuh lalu terluka. Tapi Ayah dengan yakin menatapmu mengayuh sepeda dengan pelan karena dia tahu putri kecilnya pasti bisa.
Saat kamu menangis meronta meminta boneka yg baru, Mama menatapmu iba, tetapi Ayah mengatakan dengan tegas, "Kita beli nanti, tapi tidak sekarang." Karena ia tidak ingin kamu menjadi manja dengan semua tuntutan yang selalu dipenuhi.
Ketika kamu remaja...
Kamu mulai menuntut untuk keluar malam. Lalu papa mulai bersikap lebih tegas ketika mengatakan "Tidak". Itu untuk menjagamu karena kamu adalah sesuatu yang berharga. Lalu kamu masuk ke kamar membanting pintu. Tapi yang datang mengetok pintu dan membujukmu adalah mama. Tahukah kamu saat itu dia memejamkan matanya dan menahan diri, karena dia sangat ingin mengikuti keinginanmu. Tapi lagi-lagi... dia harus menjagamu.
Saat seorang cowok mulai sering datang mencarimu, Papa akan memasang wajah paling cool sedunia. Dan sesekali menguping atau mengintip saat kmu sedang brdua di ruang tamu. Tahukah kamu, dia merasa cemburu?
Dan saat dia melonggarkan sedikit peraturan, kamu melanggar jam malamnya. Ia duduk di ruang tamu, menunggumu pulang dengan sangat, sangat khawatir. Wajah khawatir itu mengeras ketika melihat putri kecilnya pulang terlalu larut. Dia marah. Karena hal yang ditakutinya akhirnya datang... "Putri kecilnya sudah tidak ada lagi"
Saat papa sedikit memaksamu untuk menjadi seorang dokter, Ketahuilah bahwa ia hanya memikirkan masa depanmu nanti. Tapi toh dia tetap tersenyum saat pilihanmu adalah menjadi seorang penulis.
Sampai saat papa harus melepasmu di bandara. Bahkan badannya terlalu kaku untuk memelukmu. Ia hanya tersenyum sambil memberi nasehat ini-itu. Dia ingin menangis seperti mama yang menangis dan memelukmu erat. Tapi dia hanya menghapus sedikit air mata di sudut matanya dan menepuk pundakmu, berkata, "Jaga diri baik-baik", Agar kamu kuat untuk pergi.
Saat kamu butuh uang untuk membiayai uang semester dan kehidupanmu, orang pertama yang mengerutkan kening adalah Papa. Berusaha mencari jalan agar anaknya bisa merasa sama dengan yang lain.
Ketika permintaanmu bukan lagi sekedar meminta boneka baru, dan ia tau ia tidak bisa memberikan. Dia sangat ingin mengatakan, "Iya, Nak, Nanti kita beli" dan saat kata-kata yg keluar adalah "Tidak bisa" dari bibirnya. Tahukah kamu,ia merasa gagal membuat anaknya tersenyum?
Saat kamu sakit dan tidak berada di dekatnya. Papa terlalu khawatir sampai kadang sedikit membentak, berkata, "Sudah dibilang jangan minum air dingin!". Berbeda dgn mama yg memperhatikanmu dengan lembut. Ketahuilah saat itu ia benar-benar khawatir dengan keadaanmu.
Dan di saatnya nanti kamu wisuda sebagai seorang sarjana, Papa adalah orang pertama yang berdiri dan memberi tepuk tangan untukmu. Dia yang tersenyum bangga dan puas melihat "Putri kecilnya yang tidak manja berhasil tumbuh dewasa dan telah menjadi seseorang."
Sampai saat seorang teman hidupmu datang dan meminta izin mengambilmu darinya. Papa akan sangat berhati-hati memberikan izin. Karena ia tahu laki-laki itu yang nanti akan menggantikannya.
Dan saat Papa melihatmu duduk di panggung pernikahan bersama seseorang yang dianggapnya pantas menggantikannya. Papa pergi ke belakang panggung dan menangis... "Tugasku telah selesai dengan baik. Putri kecilku yang lucu telah menjadi wanita yang cantik."
Papa hanya bisa menunggu kedatanganmu dan cucu-cucunya sesekali untuk menjenguknya. Dengan rambut yang telah memutih dan badan yang tak lagi kuat untuk menjagamu dari bahaya.
Papa adalah sosok yang harus selalu terlihat kuat bahkan ketika dia tidak kuat untuk tidak menangis. Harus terlihat tegas bahkan saat dia ingin memanjakanmu. Papa juga orang pertama yang selalu yakin bahwa "kamu bisa" dalam hal apapun.
Tersenyum dan bersyukurlah ketika kamu bisa merasakan kasih sayang seorang Papa hingga tugasnya selesai. Kamu adalah salah satu orang yang beruntung. Karena papa adalah sosok superhero yang hebat!
-------------------------- english tranlation
it's a common thing for childs who live far away fromn their parents to miss their mom but what about dad?
maybe it's mom who's asking your condition everyday but do you know that it is your dad that reminds her to?
maybe it's mom who often tell you stories but do you know that after he went back from work, with tired face, he always asks about u from ur mother...,?
when you are small....
father teach you how to ride a bicycle after he thinks you're able to, he take off the extra tire from your bicycle that is when your mother close her eyes because she scared that you might get hurt but father is only looking at you because he knew that his daughter can do it
when you cry because you want to get a new doll... mom is only looking and pitty you, but dad firmly say, "we will buy, but not now.." because he doesnt want you to be a spoiled kid by your demand
when you are a teenager
you start to insist to go out in the middle of the night dad say "NO" but that's only because he want s to protect you then you go indise your room, and slam your door and the one who come and try to talk over to you is your mom but do you know at that time he's closing his eyes, sadly, refrain his self because he really wants to grant your wish but once again...he wants to protect you
when a boy start to look after you dad will show the coolest face in the world and once in a while he peeping and overhearing your conversation when both of you are in the living room do you know that he's jealous?
and when he loosen the rule a bit, you break it he's sitting in the living room, waiting for you and so worried and that worried face is hardened when he saw his daughter come back too late he's anggry..he's sad because what he scared the most is finnaly happened... "he's little princess is no longer there.."
when your dad force you a bit to be a doctor do you know that he only worry about your future? but then again he only smile when you actually became a novelist
when dad have to let you go in the airport he's body is to awkward to hug you he only smile while he advise you this and that do you know that he also wants to cry like you mother who's crying and hugging you? but he only holds the tears in the corner of his eyes and pat your shoulder and he only say."take care of your self" that only because he wants you to be strong
when you need money to pay for your semester and your daily cost the person who will wrinkled his foreheas is your dad trying to find a way so his daughter could be equal with her friends
when your request is no longer a new doll and he cannot afford it he really wants to say "we will, but not now" but the words that came out from his mouths is "we cannot..." do you know that he feels so sad because he failed to make you smile
when you are sick and he cannot be beside you dad is too worried until he snap you a bit and said "i've told you not to drink too much cold water!" unlike your mother who tenderly advise you know that he really, really worried about you
and when the time you gained your tittle dad will be the first person who will stand up and clap his hands, he's smiles "he's little daughter has succesfully grown to be an adult...to be a "person"
when you partner in life meet him and ask his permission to take you dad will carefully accept his request because he wants to know what kind of man who will take over his position
and when dad sit in the wedding stage together with the person who worth to replace him dad go to the back stage and cry.... "my rule is end well, my cute little daughter has became a beautiful woman..."
dan could only wait for you visit with his grandchildren once in a while with his hair turning white, and the body which couldn't protect you any longer...
dad is a figure that have to look strong, even when he's unabale to not crying he has to look firm even when he wants to spoil you... dad will always be the first person who believe that you could do anything..
smile and be grateful when you can feel your father's love... until his rule is over you are a very lucky person because you father is the greatest superhero in the world...
_____________
copied from a friend... And my tears drop... i love you dad.... and i really dont know to describe how touched i am by this message....
just watched 2012 this afternoon....hoooooo awesome man!! the movie was so sad!! was crying when i watched it, it's worth it! hahaha, nice special effect, nice story line, jussssttttt
*spoiler* why do they need to kill sasha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i've told you handsome guys are world's treasure! they should pick less good lookin one and kill them instead a hottie!!!!!! GAAAHHHHH and there's actually some questionable parts in the movie which is worth to be disscused after we finnished watching it..serriously it's fun to find the flaws hahaha so here we goessss: 1. accept it or not, only people with money can survive,lol, serriously, even the hero has limousine and some conection with important guy, if not, he wont be survived man. Just imagine if that thing really happen (which i really hope it wont) we people with less power and "perfect gene" (yeah right...perfect gene) will be the people who running in the chaos and waiting to be swallown by earth core and looking hopelessly at the hero's jet plane. even if we survive how could we enter the spacecraft airport which charge u 1 billion europe to go inside, it's in china somemore..i think the author really wanted to say "u common people just go bye bye"
sucks...
2."only hero can exist!" i think the producer really hold tight this rule because what i know is no side character who were supporting the hero and his family from the start till the end survived!! u want me to list them? yeah right, the broadcasting guy, gordon, the paris hilton girl, SASHA, the fat ass rich guy, none of them survived. oh man, cmon, u should at least let gorgon alive! he has the right to it! i think actually he could be counted as one of the main character! it seems to me thatl the author intentionally kill him, because i think if gorgon still alive he will triger another conflict in the future (relationship thingie lol), so, better than make the family matter more complicated, they simply decided that gorgon should die...wth...and SASHA!! dude no stupid guy will stay on the will-be-crushed-plane while he has chance to stay alive! it's freakin nonsense, because gorgon could catch up with the hero and make it in time then why sasha couldn't??? just run through the car, jump out of the plane and that's it, u can do it! why bother to control the plane????stu~~~~pid!!
3.i thought they mentioned space craft?? i reall was hoping they able to go into the space and find a new planet...but non of the scene show how great the spacecraft is...it's nothing different than submarine to me =.= and at the end of it, they still floating on the earth ocean...is it really a space craft???
4.at the end part they show "27 days after the incident year 0001and so on and so forth... here's my question, which im sure im not stupid because i like to read book about star and galaxies, and i know that a planet will most likely vanished if there's something wrong with the core and there should not be any island left after such incident, and why they put 27 days after the incident?? doesnt it usually takes like 1 million-billion years for a planet to stabilize its state in such condition? then how come so fast one, only 27 days can see clear blue sky already???? it's soooooo confusing :(
5. why they only put adam lambert's song for scredit..buhuhuhu i love time for miracles! so nice! adam really has power in this song..and he's got a face also..but...then again...siiiggghhh why does he need to be a homosexual.... pity...
"We lived our lives looking away from what was difficult to face, we ignored everything hurtfull and only saw what we choose to see, the world we created and nurtured in our hearts became increasingly real over time, eventually it became so real that it clouded our eyes and hid the small truths that were all around us, just like the shinning of the stars that blotted out by glare of the city lights" Polka, Eternal Sonata
2 human beeing fall in love with each other but they have to be separated, not by distance, not by war, but by blood the blood of the royal murderer and the blood of the king
"...sometimes, you realized that love is too painfull, you realized that it's already too late for everything we have started,
but does it means we don't have any chance at all? does it means we cannot change anything at all?
because sometimes it takes time for one to gain courage, and for love...
am i even allowed to believe in miracle? because i want to believe that God is not as mean as we thought,
i want to believe that He just wants to give us time to learn, that true love is not easy to obtain, we need to sacrifice, and there's a time when we have to hurt each other,
but when i know that i couldn't stop loving you, i know that couldn't close my eyes anymore..."
a........nnd that pretty much the summary for Le Jour de notre Priere! in english it means "the day of our prayer" a classic love story, sounds so boring? wait untill you read it... i've been working on it since last 3 weeks (well not really 3 weeks since i was also busy doinjg assigment), and now i have 40 draft pages which are ready to be inked, the first 10 pages are ad with yenwei (my inking master!) and now...i have more than another 40 pages to go...ahhh im really scared..serriously im really scared...this is the first time im feel so scared of doing what i want to do...just imagine how horror it is if i couldnt make it in time, and then i javent made any badges, then i dont have enough prints to sell...im reallly scareddddd...i feel like crying..but crying wont solve anything... God..please give me your bless....TxT
hey! i just realized after i read my recent post in blog, my writing has improved a bit since last year! haha it think that's pretty obvious since i use english everyday now, i know..i still made mistake here and there but who cares....i still feel a bit proud hehehe
my 'almost' close friend (i don't want to admit it)who is also my number one enemy, a few days ago suddenly told me: "Wina, you know what! i like somone now!" and i like ".....oooookkkk...aaaayyy?????" serriously, it's so surprising since, the "he" i know is such a badass, mentality unstable, random, blur-blur, and never-ever will-get-a gf type (wait, i think it's a little bit too far...oh well, he wont read it anyway...) and now suddenly he tell me that he fall in love with a girl.. A REAL GIRL, and our junior some more..whaaattt???? hahahahahah i was laughing like hell while i was chatting with him, and yeah, he sounds pissed off, but that's what made us friend anyway hahaha good luck dude
oh oh!! yesterday i found this amazinggggg video on youtube "SUGIZO from x japan, playing violin for soundtrack the movie" it's so tragic....so beautifull.....sugizo's violin has a mysterious yet enchanting tone...i fall in love.......and his voice is so sexy!!!!! *fangirl mode* i just like that particular one la, not really become a fan of luna sea...i don't like rawks and metal song :( classical is number one!!! have canon fever now, i've donloaded various version of canon which made me really want to learn VIOLIN..
BEHOLD HUMAN WHO ARE ABLE TO PLAY VIOLIN, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU ARE DAMN LUCKy BECAUSE HERE THERE'S ONE POOR CREATURE YEARNING TO HOLD THE BOW AND PLAYING WITH THE STRING
buhuhuhuhuhu sounds so pathetic... i like to answer my own question am i pathetic? YES
havent updated my blog for quite some time.. i dont really have any progress to show, just like as always i drew, i failed, i drew i failed, honestly, i feel like i dont have any inpsiration anymore...everytime i see some drawing ..i feel nothing...NOTHING! can u imagine an artist without inspiration..it's the same as a you see a big banner of 80% off price in Charles and Keith and you feel NOTHING..but i wont quit...i love drawing, but i dont have something that could push me to feel the excitement of drawing anymore...ok, not always but what is left of the excitement is the disapointment of the result..there're always mistakes everywhere in my final result and what make it worst, i always notice it when the drawing is finished....but then again... i guess it's only the part of process..im not even sure if anyone read this crap, i dont care..i feel hopeless so many assignment, and none of them is interesting...feel like there's no point in going to college anymore...
i really hate when people keep saying "hey she's so emo" when they see me depressed like this..seriously, if you are a friend you should encourage and give me advise rather than mocking my condition and make it into a laugh stock...i recently hating somebody who dont even realize that i hate him because of his sarcasm joke (dude you should learn that not everyone can stand your sarcasm)
less than 2 months before comic fiesta and i even have booked the booth but another problem is i dont even have a thing to be sold.... what a pain...
just a normal person, with normal life.
Her soulmate is her genius 6' x 8' tablet. Mr poo is her favorit sleeping friend, mr doggie is her sleeping slepers. Her favorite time is sleeping and drawing in front of her small definitely-not-end-user's-laptop. her favorite software is paint tool sai and photoshop and her love for her pet is pretty much abnormal
i was bored and have this suden idea to arrange all (not all but mostly) my collection of drawingand design books
my personal drawign collection, oh wait, one more sketchbook still with my lecturer..whaaatttt
my riffle and my shotguns lol
